03 April 2011

Things That Are True - You Might be a Mom if...

There are moments in my life that exist only because I'm a mom. I say and do things I would never have done without The Imp around.

You might be a mom if...

...you've ever found yourself discussing labour and delivery with a woman you just met and it doesn't feel at all TMI or over-sharey.

...a quick swipe at your naughty/stinky bits with a baby wipe is considered an adequate substitute for a proper shower, more often than you'd like to admit.

...you find yourself doling out stickers every time someone poops on the toilet.

...you have an opinion about the Backyardigans.

...you hate Caillou with the heat of a thousand suns.

...the temptation to cut your dinner companion's food into tiny bite-sized pieces is nearly impossible to resist, even when you're out for a child-free evening.

...you've ever referred in the plural possessive to body parts you have never personally had. "We don't touch our penis in front of other people, honey."

...you linger a little longer than is strictly necessary in your child's bedroom at night just to watch them sleep. Just because.

...you want to stop every pregnant woman you see and say, "You can do this. You can. And you'll be great. And it's okay if you're not great every minute."

Anything I missed? Please share in the comments!


  1. you cry at ever innocuous reference in children's songs or movies to growing up and leaving home.

    i'm thinking Bobs and Lolo's "Little Seed" song and the latest Toy Story offering (Dumbo, ET and Goodnight Children Everywhere on the first For The Kids album have similarly teased the tears out)

  2. You have the poo conversation, regularly.

    Also, you tickle your tot's tummy just to hear their belly laughs.

  3. Amen, sister!

    I'll add: navigating your living room involves running a gauntlet of toy cars, Little People figurines, and lego blocks, resulting in a near-death experience roughly one in ten times.

  4. You get confused when people talk about doing things after 7pm. I mean, no one really goes out after that do they?

  5. Ah, yes, "our penis".

    I never really expected that the penis I spend the most time talking about would be attached to a toddler. Sigh.