16 April 2011

Things That Are True - Holiday Update

In case you were wondering what puakenikeni look like - a tree in my aunt's garden

Yesterday we hit the beach. It was rainy on the Windward side of Oahu - where we've been staying with my aunt and uncle, so we hopped in the car and drove thirty minutes into Waikiki.

Some things I've learned in the last 24 hours.

1) Drop any hint of the word (or even the concept) "relaxing" in connection with "holiday" when said holiday involves a two year old who will. not. stop. moving. Ever. Relaxation, like sleep and reading the Sunday Times, is for the childless.

2) Decide in the first ten minutes that you are okay with the fact that every part of your body, everything you own, and everything you touch for the next two weeks will be sticky with sunscreen and gritty with sand. It is what it is, and fighting it will only make you crazy.

3) Related to (2) above: I bet if the rental car companies could somehow save all the sand they vacuum out of rental returns daily, Hawaii could have one hell of a land reclamation project going on.

4) The fruit smoothies they sell at Starbucks here are bigger than the ones in Vancouver. Same brand, same ingredients, but about 1/3 larger. Also, the soymilk they use is way, way sweeter than the stuff we're used to.

5) I needn't have brought any clothes for The Imp. He has, and will, wear nothing but his bathing suit 95% of the time.

6) I managed to avoid the whole, "Do these shorts make my ass look fat?" thing by not bringing any. Skirts. Skirts are the answer. They're more flattering, they allow me to change into my bathing suit bottom right there on the beach with no one noticing, and they're cooler. It's good to let the breezes at your nethers, my friends.

Remember that time I was so worried about what I'd look like on the beach? Yeah - didn't happen. Got there, dropped towels, dropped trou, and had fun chasing The Imp around. Didn't give my jiggly-saggy concerns a single thought. Liberating! Because you know what? When I stopped giving a damn, stopped mentally comparing myself to every thinner/tanner/younger body on the beach? I started to see the beauty in everything around me instead. The joy in people's faces, the shrieks of laughter of boogie-boarding kids, the cliche of the sun sparkling on the waves. And the breezes, of course.

So there it is, folks. I'm Alexis, and I'm a sap. And I don't care!

We're trying to show The Imp some Hawaiian culture while we're here - we believe it's important to learn about the people who live in a place when you're visiting. So yesterday we taught The Imp, when he sees a Honolulu Police Department car, to point and shout, "Five-oh! Five-oh!"

Today's lesson: "Book'em Danno."


  1. Aw..sounds great!..Yeah I have given up worrying about my bathing suit look..instead I just focus on the fun...and yeah..you just have to roll with it and be prepared to be EXHAUSTED when you get home!!

  2. Yep I learnt to replace the phrase "roll with it" with "relax". If you have a great roll with it vacation then life was good. Enjoy the sand it is freezing here - although I just saw a hint of sun. Going to garden and pretend the mud in my shoes is sand. :)

  3. The two times I was in Hawaii I actually found the beach to be a place that restored my own self-image. EVERYONE is wearing bathing suits. EVERYONE. Near-nudity is the great equalizer.