Things I'm Doing - Mischievous Moms at Sandbar

So, again with the nerves. I always volunteer or jump in at the merest mention of a fun opportunity. "That sounds great," I'll say. "How can I help?" And then as it approaches - currently I'm looking at T-minus 5 1/2 hours - I start to angst.

Yes, I did just use angst as a verb.

freedictionary.com defines the noun angst as:

angst [æŋst (German) aŋst]

n

1. an acute but nonspecific sense of anxiety or remorse

2. (Philosophy) (in Existentialist philosophy) the dread caused by man's awareness that his future is not determined but must be freely chosen

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

My personal definition:

to angst:
v
1. a desperate search through the closet for something to wear to the Impending Event, followed by a rejection of every item of clothing I've ever owned (Too trendy. Not trendy enough. Trying too hard. Too casual. Too dressy. Too "look at me". Too wallflower. Too [insert random adjective here])
2. consumption of several handfuls of chocolate chips
3. a bout self-loathing, for the consumption of chocolate (not Fit By Forty Compliant, that)
4. an extended bout of self-doubt, of the Who Do You Think You Are To Do/Be/Want X variety
5. a sudden need to alphabetize all my recipes/books/expense receipts/fabric samples/twitter friends

In this case, the Impending Event is a meetup of moms and twitter friends at Sandbar on Granville Island this evening. I've been broadcasting my attendance and involvement in this event far and wide for the last several days. I know that I'm a tremendously social person who loves nothing more than being in the thick of the fun. And yet... and yet. Here I sit. Angsting.

I'm looking forward to tonight. I'll get to see some old friends, meet some new ones, and meet Erica Ehm, a woman and mom that I feel like I already know through our interactions on twitter and through her website. Plus, she was in my living room daily when I was a teenager!



And Erica's looking forward to it too - she mentioned it in an interview on Breakfast Television this morning - sadly not an embeddable video, you'll have to click the link. (Ahem, the 4:25 mark gratifies my ego in a big way.) And Erica, if you read this, THANK YOU for pronouncing my last name Hinde rhymes with blind and not Hindie rhymes with indie. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That almost never happens.

Now, since I have this "awareness that [my] future is not determined but must be freely chosen",  I'm pretty sure I've got some stuff that needs alphabetizing. And an outfit decision to make.